For the last week or so, Tolga has been getting really frustrated because nothing here in Turkey really shocks me. He remembers his time in the US and thinks that I would have thought this city/country is polluted, chaotic, conservative, etc. But coming from Egypt, the shock factor for any of these things is totally gone.
The other day, we went to a place in Istanbul to buy ripped DVDs and computer programs for about $2 each. We started in some little shop off the main road where men sat around drinking tea and trying to lure each passerby into their respective shops, then followed the shop owner down some more hidden streets to another place to buy the DVDs.
Tolga commented "Pretty creepy, huh? Does this freak you out?"
"Not really, I replied. I’ve been to places like this in Egypt."
He was disappointed that he couldn't shock me.
When we were in a minibus on the way to the beach, we saw a man on a motorcycle with his young son in front of him, neither of them wearing helmets.
"Check that out!" Tolga said. " Can you believe they're riding like that?
I replied “Ha, I’ve seen worse,” referring to the time in Egypt when I saw a whole family (Dad, 2 small children and an infant in the Mom’s arms) on a motorcycle.
Again, Tolga was mad that I wasn’t surprised.
That’s not to say I wasn’t pleasantly surprised by Istanbul. Other people who had been there had painted a rather negative picture for me—a place where women are called at, where the streets are over crowded, where people are restricted because of Islam. Some of these things are true in some areas of Istanbul, but I don’t see them as a factor that will overcome all the positives. There are negatives when traveling to any place and you just have to take them with a grain of salt. In Egypt a 15 year old offered camels, cows and chickens for my friend and in Istanbul someone grabbed my butt. I will never forget these things, but when someone asks me about Egypt and Turkey, these are surely not the first things that will come to mind.
I believe that is the fault of many Westerners when the come back from countries like Egypt and Turkey. Many Americans that I have previously talked to are disgusted by similar situations that have occurred to them. Rather than sharing the positive things they know about the country they or someone they know has visited when I tell them of my travel destinations, they put on a face of panic and proclaim “Oh, but when I/my daughter/my friend was there, this or that happened to her! Can you believe it? You’ll never feel safe over there”
The sad thing is that Westerners can’t get past the idea that many men in Muslim countries are sexually suppressed and don’t know how to deal with those feelings in a socially acceptable way. They judge those poor (financially and intellectually), uneducated men by our American standards. This is the biggest mistake. It’s not like all men in Egypt and Turkey find it acceptable to degrade women in these ways. In fact, if you ask any educated man—young or old—they will tell you its an embarrassment to their country and many times apologize to you for something that isn’t their fault.
On that same note, I don’t mean to make direct comparisons between Egypt and Turkey. From my experiences in those countries, I gathered that Islam is viewed in a different light in each of these places. In Egypt it is what people would think of as a stereotypically Muslim country—alcohol is harder to come by, women fit in better the more conservatively they are dressed, men and women belong to separate social circles. Turkey, however, treats Islam and the United States treats Christianity. Some people take religion as the only guide for living, some people believe in God and pick and choose what rules they want to follow, while others just laugh at some of the silly doctrines the religion dictates and ignore them altogether. You can get a beer at any restaurant, there is great night life, women wear shorts and tank-tops but you still see a woman covering her head here and there and the call to prayer still sounds 5 times a day. But there are many Turks who really look down upon women who cover their head. Like I mentioned in a previous blog, it’s a strange mix between traditional and the West’s view of modern.
I think that’s why I enjoyed the city so much. Additionally, I’ve realized that it’s not just about the sights and the food that make the experience (although Istanbul gets an A+ in both of those areas), it’s the people! In Egypt I went to visit one friend, but he had an opportunity to go to the Gaza strip with his university, so I had at the end a week where I stayed with someone who I just met and chilled with a whole new group of people that I had met through my American friends. In Turkey, I was lucky enough to have two Turkish hosts who introduced me to a lot of their friends. And that’s not even including all the people who I met randomly at clubs, bars, museums, at the beach, on the street. In the US, I am very skeptical meeting people at these kind of places, but when traveling, you have to be very open minded (but at the same time very cautious) about the people you meet. Many times, you find people in the same situation as you—traveling, looking to learn from others and their experiences. I have met some very interesting people just by saying hi or by not being weirded out by random people who say hi to me. Additionally, I have learned so much by listening and asking questions rather than blabbing about myself. I have been surprised at how much people will share if you ask the right questions, and if you ask the right questions, people will let you in on some very important insights about life and people in general.
Break time.
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